Every jewish wedding requires a ketubah. You’ve found one online. That’s the easy part. It now needs to be personalized, and that’s where it can get perplexing! Of course, there’s the basic information that, if you don’t know it already, you’ve got bigger issues–such as the bride and groom’s names, the wedding date, and where it is taking place. But it can get a bit mystifying as you go further to hebrew names, etc.
So here are the 5 best tricks to make sure your ketubah is properly personalized.
1) Let your rabbi or cantor do it! Well, maybe not actually do the ketubah personalization itself (have you SEEN your officiant’s handwriting?) but your rabbi or cantor should provide the information. Seriously, the fastest way to have your ketubah personalized the right way is to let your rabbi or cantor complete the form provided by your ketubah artist or vendor.
2) Transliterate. Hebrew names should not be made up for non-jewish parties. Instead, have your name transliterated–phonetically spelled out in hebrew characters. And if you’re jewish and you have a yiddush name, ask your rabbi or cantor if you can use that or if he or she will require you to use an equivalent Hebrew name instead (e.g. Rivka instead of Rifka).
3) Include parents but not grandparents. In Hebrew, your name is usually something like: “Rachel, daughter of Joshua and Sarah.” Of course, your father, Joshua, is technically “Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka,” and your mother “Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia.” But just stick to your parents. Saying “Rachel, daughter of Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka, and Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia” is just too complicated. So leave your grandparents out. Parents names are not required, so you may instead leave them out. And typically just first (and middle, if you like) names are used – no last names.
4) Hebrew date determination. In the hebrew calendar, the date starts and ends at sundown. So the exact time of your ceremony, and whether that is before or after sunset, will determine the hebrew date on your ketubah.
5) Conservative or Orthodox wedding? You’ll need to provide a little more information, including the bride’s “status” (whether this is the bride’s first marriage–or more technically, whether she is a virgin–or if she’s been married before and divorced or widowed, and if she’s converted), if the father of the bride and/or groom is a levite or cohain (it probably means “no” if you don’t not know), and whether your officiant wants the ‘regal’ – the descending part of the letter in the ‘koof’ – in the word ‘v’kaninah’ to be filled in or left out. Let’s make it easy – talk to your officiant about these items for personalizing your ketubah text.
It’s always a good idea to consult your rabbi or cantor, but with these suggestions, your ketubah should be personalized correctly.
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